There is a plethora of clinicians and trainers trying to sell themselves to riders in order to make money, but that isn't exactly what I'm referring to. I imagine that like myself, there have been times when you've watched someone go through the exact same motions and come out with far greater success than yourself. Unable to pinpoint how or why you chalked it up to pure luck (and maybe even beginner's luck). The reason may just lie in one simple word, one complex concept – CONFIDENCE.
Have you ever been pitched by a sales person who lacked all elements of confidence and charm? Who seemed nervous and uncertain about just what it was they were selling and the reasons you ought to be buying it? I know I have plenty of times. And then there are the salesmen who are so confident and smooth that you almost want to beg them to sell you whatever it is they are peddling. Naturally there are those who seem ‘overconfident' by being pushy and high-pressure, but that isn't really confidence in their product so much as, imo, desperation to turn a buck.
All three of these types of people can also be compared to equestrians when it comes time to training. There are those who lack confidence – perhaps due to their own self-esteem, the amount of knowledge they have on the topic at hand, their belief in their abilities, etc. Then there are those are are so confident in themselves, in what they know, OR (and there is a reason this isn't an AND) are so relaxed about the whole concept of selling that they aren't personally attached to whether you buy from them or not. Finally there is that last pesky sales personality – the one which is willing to shove their product down your throat if it will mean you pull out your wallet and show them the money.
And just what is being sold? You are selling your language, ideas, requests, wants, needs and dreams to the horse. We are all equestrian sales people. You want the horse to buy into the idea that you know what you are doing and you definitely want them begging for you to sell to them. Some riders are naturals – just as some sales people are naturals at getting you into that overpriced but oh so shiny car – and others will bobble back and forth between the three various personas.
Example 1
I think of as the emotional riders – they are feeling their way through and can at times attach the outcome of their attempts to some personal flaw they imagine exists. Their successes or failures dictate their next move which means they are not in control of themselves and will never been in control of the situation or the horse they are selling themselves to. While they might get frustrated with the horse they are less likely to take their anger intentionally out on him but may be less inclined to jump in the saddle the next day and do it all over again. Sometimes self-defeating with negative talk about their abilities but not always.
Example 2
I hardly need to illustrate. I think we've all encountered someone who just seems to mesh with you. They make you feel at ease and comfortable at once, make you yearn to get to know them and just be around them. They are calm and collected even if what they do is absolutely crazy. It is like the world spins around them rather than them just being along for the ride.
Example 3
Unfortunately a common sales technique that equestrians use. Based on the idea that it is through physical force that we make the horse understand us, the horse is there for our use and pleasure and should do whatever we ask whenever and wherever without question or hesitation. Wow, that was a run-on sentence if I've ever seen one… They too will take some things personal but will be more likely to take it out on the horse intentionally either to ‘establish dominance' or ‘teach him a lesson.' They will likely refer to the horse at some frustrating point as a jerk or other unsightly curse words. They try to control everything through force and dominance but will never actually have control because they are reacting and overreacting to their environment and the horse's actions.
So where do we want to be when we pitch a sale to our horse? Ideally for me would be to find position as the calm, cool, confident and ‘natural' equestrian salesman. I want to know what it is that I'm selling so well that it just flows like water in recitation, and there is nothing personal taken from the interactions.
I used to tell my mom and students that when you go out to work with the horse, be business like. What I mean by that is when you are in a business all of your interactions are straightforward. There are corporate policies in place to address every issue and so you don't have to pull something out of thin air – so long as you are familiar with the policies. There are never any screaming matches because you act civilized with one another. Drama should be kept to a minimum because you aren't working in reception but rather in the executive suite where such interactions are not acceptable.
Working with horses is also a mix of building a relationship, but not a drama filled personal relationship like you would with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The best salesmen you will find you genuinely like and in many ways you wouldn't mind befriending them. This is what I strive for when working with horses. You are professional and business like while also building a rapport that incites the horse to be interested in your company, to trust you. Now, as for being knowledgeable and CONFIDENT in what you are selling, that comes by taking lessons, going to clinics and lectures, reading books, watching videos, interacting with other equestrians – and then going out and practicing the pitch with your horse day after day.
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