Yesterday I wrote about it being okay to walk away from horses and the response to that post has been incredible.
A lot of equestrians have reached out to me to say thank you, to let me know that they too had felt ashamed and guilty when they found horses didn't quite fit in a space of their life. This means so much to me to know that somehow my own personal struggle with those feelings wasn't for nothing. And I can say now that even having felt so alone at the time, I am now more connected than ever to some really amazing people.
About a month and a half ago I was half-heartedly listening to a podcast, I don't even remember what podcast it was, but I heard the phrase “other peoples' success is not your failure” leap out at me. I wrote it down because I didn't want to forget it, and I think I've been holding onto it for just this moment.
It's really easy to look around and compare ourselves and our own achievements (or struggles) to the superficial successes we see other equestrians achieving. And when measuring ourselves against the polished surface of someone else, well we can start feeling absolute shit about our own progress very quickly.
Remember that what is shared to the world about another equestrian is usually the positive, the wonderful, the exciting moments. You don't see the daily struggle, challenges or feelings that equestrian contends with; even if you did it has no bearing whatsoever on your own journey.
Other equestrians' success is not your failure.
I wrote this down on my office whiteboard so I can see it every day. Maybe you'll find it helpful to remember your on your own unique journey with your horse, and it has nothing to do with what anyone else is doing.
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So true AND so easy to forget especially during those times we are struggling and/or when we are feeling good about a breakthrough after a struggle. I recently had a huge leap forward in my training and it’s easy in the excitement of success to forget about the fact that someone near you is still struggling. Thank you for the reminder, it cuts both ways.