I believe there's a great misunderstanding that happens when people talk about having an interest in horses or a passion for horses or love for them. For some, this is a true statement. The horse's well-being is a priority because it's the horse they have a genuine interest in and with that comes a desire to treat them fairly.
But then there's another branch which accommodates a larger portion of the horse-involved populace. Those are the people who enjoy activities that just so happen to involve horses. They enjoy camping, and instead of taking 4-wheelers or a boat on their camping trip they trailer in their horses. They enjoy the cowboy or rodeo lifestyle, which happens to involve horses. They enjoy being competitive and instead of competing in gymnastics or eating contests they compete their horse. Or… they've found a way to make a living by being involved with horses but it's about the money (or accolades) and not the horse.
The problem is that both groups talk about the horse in a similar way – they love their horse or love horses or call themselves horsemen/horsewomen and equestrians.
When I was a child, and my attention was consumed by horses – well before I'd ever had the chance to be involved with them consistently; I didn't care what it was involving horses so long as it involved the horse. It was the horse that interested me, not the horse community.
And for a long time as I struggled to learn and navigate my way within the horse community, I felt really confused. What I saw and what the people at horse events and boarding barns and horse camp-grounds and the online horse groups were saying conflicted with one another most of the time. And before you gain much experience and insight it's easy to teach yourself to ignore what you see and focus on what people say in order to fit into the horse community.
Perhaps you've experienced this at some point as well. When I was still very new to horses and participating in my first shows and horse fairs and campouts… I never felt like I belonged, and I didn't! I wanted it to be about the horse, not about comparing ribbons and trophies. Not about sitting around the trailers, drinking beers and telling bad jokes. Not about rubbing elbows with people who'd “accomplished” things (titles, trophies, wealth). I wanted it to be about learning to be a better equestrian, to take a few steps further in the endless quest for knowledge with the horse.
I worry sometimes that this is a habit too deeply woven into horse culture for us to remedy. But then other times I'm very hopeful when I meet really wonderful people who are also deeply invested in the horse and not so interested in the activities involving horses. The people who are kind to the horse and to one another, who want to learn and invite others to give them feedback; people who are willing to struggle in order to serve the horse better.
I'm not against participating in horse-related activities, so long as the horse's well-being is kept paramount. Some questions I like to ask myself are –
- Is there a benefit for my horse by attending?
- Is there a good chance my horse could become injured by doing this?
- Is there a clear goal or purpose to attending?
- Will I have to ask my horse to give me more than he's ready to (physically, mentally, emotionally)?
- Is my horse's training adequate for this situation or am I setting my horse up for failure?
- Is attending this event serving me and my horse, or my ego and pride?
Quickly running through this list is very useful for me, and may help you too. I've stopped trying to fit in with the group who is interested in horse-involved activities at the expense of the horse, and I think my horses appreciate it – at least they seem happy to me…
Ask not what your horse can do for you… 😉
Thanks for this brave and honest article. It speaks to many of us, I’m sure.
To me, it’s all about the horse. Everything about them interests me. Everything.
They are absolutely fascinating if you take the time to check out of yourself and into them. 🙂 Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation for the horse Sandra.
Cheers!