An Equestrian’s Guide to Responsible Commenting

What is the goal of putting in your two cents? When you post a comment are you hoping to lift the person up, tear them down, or perhaps something deeper – offer an insight which they could learn and grow from? Do you go about writing comments with any of these possible options in your consciousness or are you commenting from pure emotion?

I ask these questions because I think that it is valid to question the aim of commenting, whether it is on a blog, a video, a picture, news story or anything else where you are invited to share an opinion. Perhaps Sherry Turkle is correct in saying that as technology advances we grow steadily less interested in developing conversational ability or even basic human interaction skills. We would prefer to interact with our technology, which just so happens to be connected to your technology too.

What has spurred me to talk about the purpose of writing comments consciously and with intent was a comment I received this morning. It is not uncommon for people to criticize what I write; you cannot put yourself out there and not come across passionate disagreements. On the whole Writing of Riding receives far more positive and informational comments than outright negative ones, and most of the negatives are pretty PG… with exception to 99% of those comments made on the post “Do Barrel Racers Cross the Line into Abuse?”

In my observation, comments that come across as wholly negative and attacking are generally based on a lack of facts or information and a goal of crushing any conversation. They are not open ended, nor do they invite input from other people. They are emotionally driven, or even written from some kind of fear based reaction.

I propose however that if your purpose is to prove the person wrong perhaps the best method is to provide factual information, delivered in a non-aggressive manner. Afterall, what is the first reaction you would have to being slapped in the face? I can almost guarantee it isn't admitting you were wrong and adopting your attackers' ideas…

Let's dissect a negative comment to see just what it is made up of. Below is the aforementioned comment I received this morning.

It’s unfortunate that people like you exist in the horse industry. All the horses I see that are trained by your “so called” philosophies, are horses that do not use there backs as they have not been trained to strengthen there backs. You are all talk but absolutely no proof that you can master the true art and athletisism that is dressage. You have complete disregard for the fact that you are trying to prove that what these top top athletes have accomplished on the world stage is false…. All because you simply don’t have the knowledge, dedication and true devotion to the sport that these riders have.

to say that Edward does not know what he is doing and to even elude to the fact that he is abusing his animals is ludicrous. He has proven himself to be a world champion rider on several different horses in several rings against hundreds of riders.

Who the hell are you? What have you done on a horse? Taught a horse to invert while performing Piaffe/passage? Cause that’s what I see from folk such as yourself…. how bout the infamous hoping and hollow back tempis I see all too often from miseducated riders such as yourself….
Maybe once you prove your model on the world stage and in the FEI ring competing AGAINST these athletes, the ones you literally SLANDER (which is illegal by the way) maybe once you actually PROVE YOUR MODEL is CORRECT by WINNING MULTIPLE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS against them… then maybe you can have an opinion, but until then, perhaps you should start seeking legal counsel regarding the type of misappropriation and slander you have publicly cited on your website.

You stupid un-educated “all talk and no ride” gossip queen… you don’t even deserve the word equestrian, because you have clearly demonstrated the complete lack of knowledge to be a true equestrian and to completely 100% understand what it means to be at the top and to stay at the top…

It’s people like you that make me ashamed of the horse industry… so go back and play with your parelli shit and who knows maybe your horse will smarten up one day and learn how to smack you around with the stick one day…. One can only hope!

Put your money where your mouth is or shut the F#@^ up cause you don’t know what you are talking about!
S; on the post Edward Gal Uses Rollkur

Okay, let's take a deep breath and separate some of the added fluff and look at just what the main points of this commenter's arguments are.

1. The horses trained by “my” philosophies do not use their backs and have not been trained to strengthen their backs.
2. I have provided no proof of my mastery of dressage.
3. I lack the knowledge, dedication and devotion to the sport [of dressage].
4. I have stated that Edward Gal does not know what he is doing, and that he is abusing his animals.
5. I have taught a horse to invert while performing piaffe/passage.
6. I am a miseducated rider.
7. I have slandered someone.
8. I am not allowed to have an opinion because I have not proven my model to be correct by winning multiple world championships.
9. I should begin seeking legal counsel for misappropriation and slander on my blog.
10. I am a “stupid un-educated ‘all talk and no ride' gossip queen” who does not deserve the word equestrian.
11. I have demonstrated a lack of knowledge which precludes me from being a true equestrian.
12. I do not 100% understand what it means to be at the top and stay at the top [of competition].
13. I have made this person ashamed of the horse industry.
14. I should go back and play with my “parelli shit”.
15. I do not know what I am talking about.

Okay, so just 15 easy points to touch on! That was easy..

As a quick aside – I think it is important to talk about this not just because I don't believe in quietly accepting someone's personal attacks, but because how many of us are afraid to put ourselves out there in the public eye; to voice an opinion for fear of being attacked in just such a way as this? And believe me, it is very common in any online forum for this to happen. Why is it okay for someone to try to make you feel less-than, from a point of anonymity at that, when any form of art and creativity is only an exploration of making mistakes in order to become better? It isn't okay and I hope that this can serve some purpose for others who have felt shy about being criticized as an equestrian (or in any other part of your life).

I am going to address these points in order.

1. The horses trained by “my” philosophies do not use their backs and have not been trained to strengthen their backs.
   I am wholly confused as to what philosophies the commenter is referring to. Are they talking about French Classical Dressage which I have studied, or Parelli horsemanship which they remark about later on – but I do not use Parelli's methods. This statement is very vague and often negative remarks will be globally inclusive instead of pointing to a specific instance.
2. I have provided no proof of my mastery of dressage.
   I have never claimed to have mastered dressage. It is a constant work in progress, but considering most masters of dressage are long dead I do not feel lonely in the quest for being a better rider for my horse.
3. I lack the knowledge, dedication and devotion to the sport [of dressage].
   They are correct on one part. I do lack a dedication and devotion to the sport of dressage. I have no desire to compete, but that also does not preclude me from pursuing dressage outside of the competition arena, nor does that make me in any way less than those who decide to compete.
4. I have stated that Edward Gal does not know what he is doing, and that he is abusing his animals.
   I have not said Edward Gal is unaware of what he is doing – I believe he trains his horses purposefully and with great intent. I do however believe that the manner in which he approaches training using hyperflexion/rollkur is abusive based on studies which have shown horses trained in this manner to develop permanent physical changes in the neck and to display behavioral patterns synonymous with animals which have been abused.
5. I have taught a horse to invert while performing piaffe/passage.
   I am not certain where the evidence for this is? I am unaware of ever having intentionally taught a horse to invert while performing any collected movement. Further I will point out that inversion is the opposite of collection…
6. I am a miseducated rider.
   Again, a very broad accusation. In what way am I uneducated? Because I have posed an opinion opposite of theirs is usually the reasoning behind making this argument. Afterall if you are unintelligent and uneducated you cannot possibly have a valid opinion.
7. I have slandered someone.
   Definition : slan·der, noun
   The action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.In a court of law, slander is in regard to a spoken statement, not a written one. Also, it is a false statement of which I am not guilty of in this regard. I have stated that Edward Gal uses hyperflexion – a fact that is proven in the recordings of publicly available videos online and in pictures of him schooling and teaching other riders. I have stated that hyperflexion is abusive, which also has research demonstrating just that.
8. I am not allowed to have an opinion because I have not proven my model to be correct by winning multiple world championships.
   The word “correct” is misleading here. There are many forms of “correct” coming into play in the world horse horsemanship, including the difference between winning a competition and winning over your horse. There are training methods which are correct in order to win at shows, but which will not win over your horse nor be in his best interest. Also, I do not have a model, least of which one that I am concerned about proving against those in competition. I do not compete therefore our goals are not synonymous.
9. I should begin seeking legal counsel for misappropriation and slander on my blog.
   See #7 above regarding slander on the blog. As for misappropriation – again this term is thrown in vaguely with no reference to what exactly I am using illegally, or embezzling for that matter…
10. I am a “stupid un-educated ‘all talk and no ride' gossip queen” who does not deserve the word equestrian.

1. I have demonstrated a lack of knowledge which precludes me from being a true equestrian.
   What does “true equestrian” mean? Is it a special club I was not informed of when I got my first horse? And again another vague reference to some means by which I have shown I am uninformed, “stupid”, etc. I'm starting to feel like I'm in high school…
2. I do not 100% understand what it means to be at the top and stay at the top [of competition].
   Of course I don't, I don't compete. This statement is a distraction attempt – what does being at the top of competition have to do with proving you are knowledgeable about horses or riding in any way? How does that make you less than other equestrians?
3. I have made this person ashamed of the horse industry.
   That is a power I do not possess. Sorry but I do not freely take on the responsibility of “making” someone feel a certain way – and certainly not someone I do not know. If you feel ashamed of the horse industry it may be time to look at other reasons why, not including pointing fingers at other equestrians.
4. I should go back and play with my “parelli shit”.
   This one left me scratching my head, for a few seconds. Truthfully most negative comments seem to include false accusations and assumptions – this one being that I must be a Parelli student if I am criticizing the use of hyperflexion/rollkur by Edward Gal. For the record I do not use, nor support the use of, Parelli or any of his methods. Where this idea sprouted from I am uncertain.
5. I do not know what I am talking about.
   According to who? Why don't I know what I am talking about? This comment lacks any supporting evidence or reasoning.

There are times when I read negative comments which remind me of the eternally popular trend of women tearing each other apart without due cause. We are all in this together, we are all equestrians.

So where does commenting responsibly come into play? I am not referring to censorship, in fact the above comment is published and can be read in the original blog post; instead I am talking about commenting from a place of conscious intent.

When you go to the barn to work with and ride your horse, do you lash out with no control over your emotions in order to make him feel less than you? No, because it would serve no purpose. Yet, comments like the one above seem to do just that – lashing out with such raw rage as to make constant attacks, false accusations and assumptions, to belittle and tear apart, even attempt to shame.

The better question to ask is what our purpose is to the greater good as an equestrian. Are we only looking out for ourselves; seeing a very narrow view of our place in the horse community as a whole? It takes but one person to begin changing the shape and fate of equestrian culture. To improve the welfare and well-being of all the horses that we are responsible for.

One way to start the change is in our interactions with one another. Technology is a large part of how we interact in daily life – and a way for equestrians to cross the boundary of location, discipline, breed, level and goals. Choosing to use our communications in a way which grows learning, education, information sharing and a real discussion on what is best for the horse is perhaps the greatest task that we can have as equestrians connected through the web.

There are ways to express your disagreements which do not utilize personal attacks, name calling, accusations and outright misinformation to support your opinion. In fact, presenting opposite opinions and ideas can be useful in spurring great discoveries about ourselves, our riding, our horses and even our lives when presented in a conversation vs. an attack.

What have your experiences been in both giving and receiving comments? Have you ever received a supporting or critical remark that was handled responsibly to open up thoughts and conversation?

For myself, I will mention briefly one of the latest comments which I began reading and instantly felt grateful for the way it was presented. The commenter opened by saying that she respected me while also disagreeing with a point I had made. From there she went on to elaborate about why she disagreed and in closing kept the discussion open without personal attacks to support her position. Just in her initial handling of presenting her disagreement of ideas, the first opening sentences, I gained a great deal of mutual respect for her because it was obvious that her goal was to have a discussion and not to prop herself up by belittling others. Further, I admit to the fact that I enjoy it when someone presents an opposing idea or opinion because it allows me to think and grow. Whether I agree or not it gives me the opportunity to delve into the WHY of my opinion and to either strengthen it or discover a crack that I might not have otherwise seen.

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